Applying

Someone thwarted His advancement at work in the most malicious (staying true to the definition of petty and spiteful) way possible. They did not just frustrate His promotion they conspired to damage His reputation. I was obviously naive, but I could not believe that an adult professional employed such machinations to advance themselves. I guess I had just never encountered it. However, His character was found to be irreproachable.

When He related all that was going on I was infuriated. I was mainly upset because the actions of someone who was openly conniving would even be taken seriously. The environment was sullied to the point where He decided He did not want to be part of an organization rife with pettiness. It resulted in Him slowly exiting the company. It seemed at the time that dishonesty was being rewarded, as the purpose was to get Him out of the running.

I am sure this happens to a lot of people, with various outcomes. I wanted Him to stay and defend His reputation for His honors sake. However, He said that the atmosphere encouraged discontent, and those involved would deal with natural consequences (hypocritical and disingenuous management creates hypocritical and disingenuous employees). This has proven to be true-but this is beside the point I am trying to make.

What surprised me was His attitude toward the offender. Of course when it was fresh and raw He was upset. However, He never retaliated in any way. He didn't even point out the obvious collusion. He chose to not stoop to that level. After it was over He seemed forgiving. When He encounters them in public He is courteous and even friendly. This, however, is not what impresses me either. Rather it is how He speaks and acts in private about the incident. He rarely brings the past offense up, I do, (I am having a hard time letting it go-even after years). When I do He does not harbor any ill will. He genuinely applies clemency. Integrity, moral character, and tolerance is often a charade.

He is authentic...

...one more reason I love Him.  

Integrity

It was a cold, wet Saturday night in January. I had been dying to see a movie that was indy enough to only show in the city. I knew He had no interest in seeing it, but He drove an hour on the icy freeway without complaint or hesitation (at least thats how I remember it). The 7:00 show was only half full. About 20 minutes into the movie He excused Himself. He didn't say, but I assumed that he was going to use the restroom. Its hard to count time passing when you are engaged in something, but I realized a short time later that he had not returned. I left our coats to mark our seats, and went to find Him.

As I emerged into the lobby I saw that He was sitting on a bench just outside the theater door. His eyes were closed, and His head was resting against the wall. I thought He must not feel well. I asked Him what was wrong? He opened His eyes and said "nothing, just resting". I suggested that if He were tired He would be more comfortable in the dark theater. He said He would rather stay out in the lobby. I started to become a little irritated with His evasive attitude. Eventually, He said that the movie made Him uncomfortable, and that He would rather not watch it. His tone was neither accusatory, nor upset, but insisted He was contented to wait. He wanted me to go finish the movie, as it was one I had really wanted to see. Well, of course I wasn't going to sit though the rest of the movie while He waited in the lobby.


We drove home in silence. We had been dating for a few years, and were in a pretty comfortable place as a couple, enough so that silence was not awkward. This was uncomfortable. For an hour we listened to the snow falling silently around us. I didn't ask Him what issue He had with the film, as I already knew. The thing is, as a young woman I should have been the one insulted by the content of the film. Instead, He was offended for both of us. He had a personal standard of decency that He was not willing to compromise, but neither was He going to lecture. He was just going to do what He felt was right. I never did see the rest of that movie, I didn't want to.

He left...

...one more reason I love Him.