Tuesday, August 27, 2013


It was thirty-one years ago today that He knelt with me and promised to love me, honor me, and keep me above all others. He made these promises to last forever. That has meant that He has had to overcome selfishness, work to resolve differences, and forgive my shortcomings (of course I have had to do the same-but I am talking about Him here). Knowing that you are bound together for eternity requires patience, hope and charity toward one another. If He expects to collect on His promise later (when we find each other in heaven), then He knows He has to work on our marriage now. Otherwise there is no promise.

Marriage is designed to be magnificent and sublime. It has the potential to help us grow and develop into better individuals. It creates a singular place for learning about love, not just the physiological sensation of being in love, but learning how to love. It is the place to learn about forgiveness, humility, sacrifice, and charity. It is a shelter where we can build a refuge from the world, find acceptance, and give and receive unconditional kindness. It is a place that we can learn about ourselves, a place where we can grow and evolve into someone better that we started out as. And it is the place where we can find happiness.

Marriage is a partnership of equal effort, although often not exerted at the same time. There have been times when I carried most of it on my shoulders, and there were other times when He did. And there have been some times when we have carried our marriage in unison with the same amount of strength and determination. Blissful is a strong word, but I would call these times as close to it as is possible. How did I "luck" out and find someone who has been willing to go the distance with me? How could I possibly know what kind of a man would emerge from the 17 year old boy i once met? I don't think the most important determining factors in choosing Him as my partner for this journey are seen on the surface. That has been the purpose of deconstructing why I love Him, to illuminate those things previously unrecognized as having the greatest effect on how I came to love Him, and how that love continues to grow deeper year after year. As I have reflected on His ordinary acts of everyday life, I now see that those often seemingly routine and un-distinctive traits, habits and actions that make up day-to-day living are really quite profound when given this frame of reference. Although each and every day we spend together may seem unremarkable individually, collectively they become extraordinary. Marriage is anything but common, it is uniquely our own. Together we make it what we want it to be, and so it has to be treated exceptionally. Whatever circumstances we find ourselves in we have to keep an eternal perspective in order to advance each day together, one day at a time.

Love is meant to grow, and so this list does not end just because this gift does. There will always be one more reason I love Him. I love Him because of the ordinary acts of every day through which He manifests His commitment to me. I love Him because of the ordinary daily expressions of love He has given me. I love Him because He has not been discouraged by living an ordinary life with an ordinary girl. I love Him because He works along side me to build something extraordinary...in our own beautiful ordinary way.

He is mine for eternity...

...one more reason I love Him.

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